OVERCOMING AN ABUSIVE PAST

We all have a personal story.  Where we come from, who we are, and our personal history all have an influence on what we are today. The chapters of our lives continue one after another; each chapter is a unique story.

For many of us pain is the inescapable result of past abuses. The source of such pain varies from different kinds of abuse, such as verbal abuse – constant degrading insults and humiliation; emotional abuse – unhappy homes and unfair punishments; physical abuses – beatings, bullying,  Sexual abuses; Religious abuses; unbiblical compulsions to do religious duties without reason.

Abuse of any kind is always accompanied by shame and guilt.

For the child of God there is good news. We are not left alone to suffer these painful past experiences. The Holy Spirit helps us; we don’t have to go it alone.

Very often our abuses, especially when these are caused by unloving parents, leave a root of bitterness hidden in our souls.

These inherited weaknesses that become our hidden secrets often make us feel insecure and ineffective for any social activities.  We sometimes even feel unfit to call ourselves Christian.

God’s Word to us brings comfort.

Rom 8:1 There is no condemnation to them in Christ Jesus

Rom 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27 and he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.  28 and we now that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

The involvement of the HS in our lives includes restoration from the deep scars of psychological wounds we have received by our past mistakes and the abuses we have suffered; the wounds we carry deep in the subconscious mind.

ILLUST;

Oprah’s one programme included a woman who previously was a “perfectionist freak”. Suddenly, something happened to her that caused her to change to such an extent that her home was no longer fit for human habitation. She had abandoned all efforts at cleanliness and she was living in absolute filthy conditions. The clean-up people who were hired to clean her hose, were totally disgusted and warned of the threat of a neighborhood health hazard.

What happened? How can a person change so radically, so suddenly?

Some people’s lives have also been affected by the role models they admired as a child. Parental role models that fail the expectations of a developing personality, can cause arrested psychological development causing a distorted concept of reality. The result often leaves such a person incapable of healthy association with others.

When we enter into the experience of heart holiness. Or heart purity, we can begin to

apply the promise of God’s Spirit living in our hearts.

 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry “Abba Father”.

1. The spirit Helps us in our Weakness

While personality is fixed in our mother’s womb, our characters develop according to our immediate environment which begins from the moment we are born.

Many are the weaknesses of the under-developed; or undeveloped persons. “Arrested child” or emotionally disturbed characters enter society with its many demands on inter-action with others.

Certain phobias (unrealistic fears) develop through being exposed to some scary situation. A motor car accident can cause a person to be afraid of driving a vehicle in heavy traffic. Many kinds of psychological disorders are developed along the path of our growing up. These deformities (infirmities) can have a major negative effect upon our adult lives and even in our spiritual journey with God.

It is precisely here that the Holy Spirit “helps us in our weakness” so that we can function normally in the spiritual realm.

The Holy Spirit reaches deep into the subconscious mind and restoringly touches the point of our scars and wounds. 

2. We do not know what we aought to pray for

. . . but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express

Because of our inhibited psychological and spiritual growth, we are afraid to ask for what we really need. Our prayer life is stunted and we don’t realise that God knows our shortcomings and He really cares and understands what others cannot comprehend.

Jesus intercedes for us by teaching us how to pray and what to pray for. He also awakens within our hearts the intense desire for a heart that pleases Him. He brings about a hunger and a thirst for His righteousness.  As the Apostle Paul puts it, one preacher lays the foundation, another builds upon that foundation, but God causes us to grow.

3.  He who searches our hearts. . .

27 and he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. 

1Jn 5:14  This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

1Chr 28:9 “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, we will reject you forever.

Why does God search our hearts?

The “heart” (soul) is the seat of the conscience. It is naturally wicked, and hence it contaminates the whole life and character. That is why the heart must be changed, regenerated before a man can willingly obey

 The heart contains all the hidden subconscious memories that affect our behavior.

Until our hearts are cleansed by the experience of “sanctification”, we will be bound by our old habits that impede the fruit of the Spirit from developing.

4.  He Knows the mind of the Spirit

He intercedes for the SAINTS

27 and he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints. . .

The Holy Spirit searches our hearts to reveal to us the source of our hurts so that we can ask him to help us in dealing with these problem-makers within us.

Ps 37:4  Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart

The process of spiritual development and the overcoming of our inherited psychological confusion, begins with the new birth (being born again).

Jesus says:  (Jn 15:7,8) If you remain in me and my word remains in you, you can ask for whatever you wish and it will be given to you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Conclusion

Nobody can claim perfection of any kind. We are fragile human beings. We are vulnerable to pollutions in the air we breathe; in the food we eat; in the water we drink and, most of all, we are vulnerable to spiritual deception.  We need God and the work of the Holy Spirit; our Helper in times of need; our Protector against spiritual interference and our Guide though life’s turmoil.

One of the most difficult to treat is psychological disorders created while we were the most vulnerable.  Our human development begins from the moment of conception. A calm and loving parental environment goes a long way in bringing a healthy child into the world.  The subsequent environment depends to a great deal on love.

The sooner the child gets to know Jesus as its Saviour, regardless of the possible  psychological disorders, the better for that child to overcome any physical and spiritual challenges that belong in this world.   

By pastor Ron Roux